Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
