I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
