So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
