btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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