On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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