I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
