i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize