I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
