have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
