I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
