Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
