The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The power of my boobs compel you
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
