wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
