I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
