In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
