Non-Jews are for practice
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
