If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Michael Bay diarrhea
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
