dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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