My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
