There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
