Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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