Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
