Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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