I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
