I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
