They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Two words: blizzard sex
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
