You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
