hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
