u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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