sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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