Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
