You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
