Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
