I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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