i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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