After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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