And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
do herpes really smell.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
