You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can you bring me the toilet please
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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