We're like a lot better than the average bears
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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