Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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