i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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