I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
