AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
