a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
