It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
