Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
