I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
