Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
