Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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