mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm at about main and main street
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
