just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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