CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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