Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
