I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My dick has a subreddit
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
