I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
