At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
