you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
